if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize