I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
