So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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