worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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