I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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