It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
