just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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