I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize