I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
