he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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