There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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