he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
