You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
