did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
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