There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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