How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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