Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
