Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
