Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
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some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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