You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
