just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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