so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
