i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
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I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
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The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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