It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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