its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
