I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
