You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
