Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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