Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
