I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
