But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
