Your dad touched me again.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i need some magic done to my vagina
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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