The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
