idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
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I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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