i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
