Cold hands, warm shart.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
