It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
