I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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