hotel room ftw
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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