I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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