I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
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Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence