I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back