They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
