dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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