lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize