Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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