We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
