There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
