we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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