A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize