Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize