This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
