trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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