i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
