you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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