Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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