Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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