Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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