I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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