you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
