Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
