what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We had sex on a dog bed..
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
