I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We named our party play list daddy issues
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
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He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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